It wasn't a stroke.

Saturday night, my husband was acting kinda confused. My niece was here, though, and my daughter had a meltdown, and I got preoccupied with that. So it wasn't until I woke up Sunday morning that I realized my husband was REALLY confused. He was unable to finish a sentence. He couldn't tell me anything. He kept lighting things on fire. He ate a gum wrapper. He kept burning a knife, then putting it in his mouth. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but he didn't want to go, and I couldn't make him leave. I kept thinking, what if he's like this forever? All day, I doted and worried over him, waiting to see if I could make a change.

There was another time, about two years ago, when his sodium had gotten really low, and it had caused him to be very confused. But it wasn't THAT confused, and it took DAYS for it to come on. I hoped this was a sodium issue, but there was a part of me that kept screaming STROKE. I was terrified. I was afraid he'd never be able to tell me he loved me again.

I called his mom. I told her what was going on. He refused to talk to her. She said I couldn't make him go to the hospital if he didn't want to go, so I may as well just watch him and hope it didn't get worse. If it did, we'd take it from there.

He refused to go to the hospital. I couldn't make him get up and go. He kept running a knife across a comb then trying to set the scrapings on fire. He wouldn't go to the hospital. He kept unwrapping gum, chewing the gum, then taking it in and out of his mouth, while he set the wrappers on fire. He wouldn't go to the hospital. I wondered if I'd have to watch him this closely for the rest of his life.

Throughout this, my neice and daughter were there, getting scared watching what he was doing.

I took the comb away. I took the gum away. I took the lighters away, but he just kept finding more. Every time he did something like this, I tried to get him to agree to go to the hospital, but he refused, and kept on refusing.

My daughter screamed at him, "Daddy, go to the hospital!"

He got a screwdriver, and kept heating up the end and putting it in his mouth. It's a wonder he didn't get burned. But he wouldn't go to the hospital.

Finally, around 1:30, I called his sister and asked her to come pick up my niece. I told her I was sorry,  but I couldn't handle both girls and Hubby at the same time, with him acting so crazy, and being so worried about him. She said no problem, and she showed up a couple hours later.

She came in the door and sat down to talk to him. It wasn't long before she was as concerned as I was, and it took about an hour for her to decide to make him go to the hospital. We got the girls ready to go, she heated up her truck, then she loaded them all in her truck and followed me to the hospital. I drove my own car because I knew they were going to admit him, I knew it was serious.

We got to the ER and they got him back pretty fast. There weren't many people there. I told them his symptoms, and that he'd had a bout previously with low sodium that caused him to act with confusion, though not like this. It had been caused by one of his medications (he's got PTSD, and takes several medications, one of which depletes the sodium in the body.)

They scheduled him for a CAT scan, a chest X-Ray, a blood panel, a blood culture, and everything else under the sun. Thank god.

It wasn't long before they came in and said his sodium was low again. Normal range is 135-139, and his was 120. That meant he was in the range of seizure risk/death risk. Not only that, they found that he had pneumonia, and so they started treating him for that right away too.

Normally, it would take 2-3 days for one's sodium level to raise high enough to be discharged, but it only took his one night. So we're back at home, and he's thinking and acting normal again.

But during that time he was acting so crazy, I can't begin to tell you how worried I was. I was scared that he'd be that way forever. I was afraid that he'd never be able to tell me he loved me again. I was afraid he'd never be able to talk to our daughter again. He said, at the time, that the words were in his head, but he couldn't say them. I couldn't imagine a life lived in a trap like that. How horrible that would have been for him. It was terrifying.

We have so much to be grateful for this year, Christmas is already amazing, and we haven't even gotten there yet. I've already had my gift.I have a husband who has the ability to tell me he loves me. He can hold a conversation with me. He can fight with me, for Pete's sake. Who knew a day would come when I'd be grateful for that! But oh, am I ever. It's a Christmas blessing this year.